Jules and joey! Partnership 10 days
Okay. Today’s whee is sort of mean. It’s only successful thanks to Justin, who is a wonderfully sporting guy and also kind of easily taken in oops I did not say that, and Jun Wei, who knows nothing about this, which is why I still have my head and PRAISE JESUS, Y’ALL.
Today I made a false confession of love.
(Yowch. I told you it was mean. It’s a funny story for parties, but it sounds really EMO different when you put it in writing. Honestly, though, I meant no harm.)
Earlier it was agreed that Julia and I would each 'confess' to a guy selected by the other. She picked Justin for me. (I suggested she do Q. Who is another guy. Who should remain anonymous. And who is like totally not included and all.)
It happened during recess. I knew I’d need a drink to carry off the act properly, so I sipped one as Julia and I sallied around looking for Justin. He was on duty somewhere in the canteen, but he might as well have been in Greece. We couldn't see him at all.
(In my case it was because I had my eyes closed. I was psyching myself up, because I DO NOT HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT THE SHIT I DO. I tried to throw myself into the persona of a shy but desperate girl AND I DON'T DO SHY. LIKE SERIOUSLY. Think embarrassed, I kept telling myself while Julia steered me around tables and happy Malay gangsters. Embarrassed, hesitant, anxious, and oh yeah, twiddle your fingers and look at the ground a lot and let’s go go GO.)
There he was - beside the sinks. He stood looking into the sun, the lines of his face drenched in gold.
Fine. Fine. No turning back, then.
"Hey, Justin, can you come with me for a while? I need to talk to you."
"Why?" He looked perplexed. "I’m on duty right now."
I nearly imploded. This was a complication I hadn't prepared for. "Just - come. Okay? Just for a while?"
"Okay, okay."
Justin walked a little way away from the tables full of people WITH EARS ARGH in the canteen, flanked by Julia, my witness.
Okay. Stage lights... on. Here went nothing.
"Okay, um, I know this is going to sound kind of weird, okay? Um... like really weird..." Eyes shyly on the ground, I managed to sip my drink and bite my lip at the same time. I didn't choke, but it was a close-run thing. So far, so good.
"... and I know this is going to be the weirdest confession ever but... I like you."
I looked up and met his eyes. There should totally have been theme music and all. THEME MUSIC.
Justin looked shocked, but he was trying to play it cool. (Later he would insist that he was totally calm and collected. Uh-huh.) He glanced at me. I looked up, into his eyes, then down at my shoes.
"Are you serious," he said, finally. It wasn’t a question.
Stare at ground, bite lip, sip drink, don’t laugh. I muttered "Yeah", flicked my eyes up, then went back to cross-examining my shoes.
There was a deep and awkward silence. My heart was hammering. I didn’t dare look at his face because I knew I’d laugh and the game would be up, and there would be bubbles in my nose.
"You do know about me and..." he trailed off. (Like we all don’t know.)
I shrugged. "Yeah, but, well..." I heaved a heavy, artificial sigh.
Another deep silence. I don’t know what Julia was thinking at that point, but I was practically at bursting point. Whatever he said in the next minute would make me laugh. He could have said something irrelevant about the Norwegian leather industry and it would have left me in spasms of mirth. Anything.
Finally Justin broke the silence.
"Look, I’ll talk to you about it in class, okay? Talk about it later."
And that was it. Another second and I would explode.
I fumbled in my pocket, pulled out a dollar bill and said, “I want you to have this.” He stared at me. “Because you just got punked,” I added, then promptly exploded. I jigged around on one foot and laughed and jigged around a little bit more and laughed my guts out.
Justin and Julia stared at me.
I don’t do these things so well.
"Wait. Uh. I’m kind of lost now," Julia said.
Rather annoyed, I had to subside the mirth and stop jigging and explain that no, I do not like Justin, yes, it was all a hoax, and I was very sorry and would Justin like a hug and all. (He refused.) It took a few seconds for everything to be sorted out.
Justin stood there with a slightly confused, slightly embarrassed grin on his face. Poor guy.
"You’re lucky I didn’t end up confessing all my deepest secrets to you," he chided. I grinned at him. "Damn you," he added cheerfully.
I went back to jigging on one foot and twirling and laughing. When I could speak, I said, "So how would you rate my acting ability? Over ten?"
"Nine. Nah. Eight point five."
I saluted him, grinned and jigged off. I spent the rest of the day telling anyone who would listen (including Justin) about what happened.
And I wonder why I’m single.
